Hmn ...

So much for blogging consistently.

To be fair, I shouldn't be blogging right now, because it's getting to that stage where the abstract, 'yeah, that's what I'll do' thesis needs to be an actual, tangible, written, 'this is it' type thesis.

Which it's not.

At the moment, I am undertaking what I like to term the 'word-vomit' stage of writing, which involves a manic stream-of-consciousness type ejaculation onto a page while the ideas are still swimming about in my head. Which they are, and for that I'll be thankful.

I'm still excited about it, to the point that I'm seriously considering a PhD. Fingers crossed, my marks should be good enough. If they're not, I have no idea what I'm going to do.

But at the moment my head is too full of nuns and convents and gendered norms and Aphra Behn to really care.

Which means that my Alinya novel has fallen by the wayside. After a brief, frantic period of re-writing the chapters I had as a first-person narrative (which I am liking much, much better), Alinya and her world has been temporarily laid aside for the more pressing thesis.

At least, I hope it's only temporary. I have invested a lot in Alinya and her story. I want it to keep going and be completed.

I am more than half way through George R.R. Martin's latest novel, A Dance with Dragons. Like all Martin's writing, it is astonishing, heart-breaking, gasp-worthy, and utterly delicious. I almost want to drag out the reading, because I have a deep-seated fear that the next novel in the series will also take seven years to see publication.

Here is a poem I wrote.

My little bird does sing, sing, sing

All day - and then, upon a whim

I open up its little cage and

Watch it Fly in to the haze of Sun -

It quivers - lost, confused -

And all the while, my little Muse

Is gone, gone, gone:

And I (the one who made it so)

Must reconcile its absence -

The other day, I re-watched the film "Titus" with a friend. It's one of my favourite films, directed by Julie Taymor, an adaptation of Shakespeare's "Titus Andronicus".

It astonishes me every time I watch it. Every watch brings something new to marvel at. The way that Taymor reflects the anachronistic nature of the original play with the Roman/World War II setting is something that I love. The imagery of the film is beautiful - my favourite scene being where Lavinia is found by her uncle. This time, I was struck by the lack of self-consciousness of the actors, the two that play Tamora's sons in particular. They're so camp.

I guess, in summary, I LOVE THIS FILM.

In terms of directors, Tulie Taymor and Jane Campion seriously have it going on. Watching their films inspires me to write my own.

One day.

I need to get back into writing.

This was my first thought as I woke this morning.

I'm terrific at starting things, but absolute rubbish at finishing them. I think that's why I'm going back to uni to do Honours; it will force me to finish something, and then (hopefully) I'll be able to convince myself that I can continue to finish things.

A blog is a good (but roundabout) way to start. It's like I'm doing the right thing but procrastinating at the same time - perfect.

Of course, it's not helping me finish the novel or children's story that are half-written or awaiting editing. And neither is the pile of books sitting by my bed, begging to be read.

I was lucky enough to receive at Christmas time a box set of Jane Austen novels. I've re-read all of them but Pride and Prejudice, and really enjoyed titles that I'd previously been dismissive of - Mansfield Park and Northanger Abbey. Fanny is still the most boring of Austen's heroines, and Catherine still the most irritatingly naieve, but learning more about Austen's context of the time helped me to appreciate them more. Persuasion is still my favourite. It's not so much that I like Anne; it's more the world around her. It's insteresting to see within the novel the social changes happening in Austen's world - the rise of 'new money' with the navy, the blurring of social statuses and roles, the aristocracy becoming somewhat outdated and ridiculous.

I then read Jasper Fforde's new novel, The Last Dragonslayer. He's a writer that I always enjoy reading. His novels always make me laugh out loud, and like Neil Gaimon, he has the capacity to flawlessly merge his own fantasy worlds with reality, something that I really admire. I didn't like this latest novel as much as his "Thursday Next" books, or Shades of Grey - there was something in this one that felt a little hurried. Still worth reading, though, as Fforde always is.

http://http://www.jasperfforde.com/dragon/dragon.html

I've now started on The Jane Austen Pocket Bible, by Holly Ivins. It's great so far. I've learned things that I've always wondered - like how much land a gentleman had to own to deserve the title, and how much Austen actually earned off her writing during her life time (not a lot, as it turns out. Poor Jane.).

http://http://www.amazon.co.uk/Jane-Austen-Pocket-Bible-Literary/dp/1907087095

When I finish, I'll get back into my reading for my thesis ... maybe.